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Found 8 results

  1. HandyDan

    Protecting The Finish

    https://www.chonday.com/30151/concpat6/
  2. HandyDan

    Tools & Uses---Humor

    Tools - Humor: Extremely accurate information you may or may not have seen or experienced…. SKILSAW: A portable cutting tool that an be used with little skill to make boards too short. BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs. WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh crap'. Will easily wind a tee shirt off your back. DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it. CHANNEL LOCKS: Used to round off bolt heads. Commonly employed in the creation of blood-blisters. HACK SAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes. VISE GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand. OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for igniting various flammable objects in your shop and creating a fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity. Very effective for digit removal!! HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper. BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut large pieces into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge. Also excels at amputations. TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of all the crap you forgot to disconnect. PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads. STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms. PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50-cent part. PVC PIPE CUTTER: A tool used to make plastic pipe too short. HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit. Also very effective at fingernail removal. UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door. Works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use. These can also be used to initiate a trip to the emergency room so a doctor can sew up the damage.
  3. Gene Howe

    Good Read

    Chris' rant is right on. https://www.popularwoodworking.com/woodworking-blogs/chris-schwarz-blog/words-woodworking-make-barf
  4. Ron Altier

    Ole woodworker's despair

    If I stand still, maybe it will show. I had it in my hand, that much I know. I walked from over there to over here, Oh why, Oh why can't I find my gear. If I scan the room one more time, I know it will show and once again be mine. But once again, it doesn't show, I'm left alone and don't know where to go. Think I'll set down and take a rest, Cause that's the one thing I do best. As I slowly descend into that soft ole chair, I look around again and in slow despair. I guess I didn't need it anyway, It will certainly show up some day. As I slowly take a seat, I find it as-------------- my butt hits the seat. I did that this morning and thought it would make a good poem for a snicker
  5. Great reason to have a reversible lathe
  6. Gene Howe

    PC run amok

    Daniel Snyder, owner of the NFL Redskins, has announced that the team is dropping “Washington” from the team name, and it will henceforth be simply known as “The Redskins.” It was reported that he finds the word ‘Washington’ imparts a negative image of poor leadership, mismanagement, corruption, cheating, lying, and graft, and is not a fitting role-model for young fans of football.
  7. Gene Howe

    New Tool

    If you're in to glass blowing, candy making, woodworking or egg candling (and maybe chick sexing. I think that's the 7th function).

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