WOOD probably won't like me stealing Paladin's post, but it's just too good not to share with the Gang here.

I've BTDT BIG time!  How about you?

Larry

 

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat
metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and
flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project
which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under
the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and
hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to ay,
'Oh sh --'

SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of
blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor
touch-up jobs into major refinishing project.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board
principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable
motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more
dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt
heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer
intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

TABLE SAW: A large scarry stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood
projectiles for testing wall integrity.

BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to
cut good wood stock into smaller pieces that more easily fit into
the wood stove, after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the
outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of
everything you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids
or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on
your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out
phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to
convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering
your palms.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is
used as a kind of dimpler so you can use wood filler
adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard
cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on
contents such as exotic wood veneer, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles,
collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts.
Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

S.O.B. TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the
garage while yelling 'S.O.B.' at the top of your lungs. It is
also, most often, the next tool that you will need.

~PALADIN~
Wood'nBoats&Stuff

Larry, what is BTDT stand for. I must be getting old!

I have seen this before, pretty cool, it has a serious ring of truth to it, I think we can all relate to at least a few of these situations

Hey Larry, I have a good post I'd like to share over on WOOD that originated here on TPW, do you think they'd appreciate that

Thank God for TPW, site of the free, and home of the rebel woodworker!

 

 

---

John Morris
The Patriot Woodworker

I saw this somewhere before. Is Paladin the original author of this?

 

I'm with John, what is BTDT?

 

---

John Moody
John Moody Woodworks
http://www.johnmoodywoodworks.com

Been There Done That, and no, you don't get a WOOD T-shirt out of it. 

 

---

'and may the road raise up to meet ye'

John1.. Don't think ole Matt would allow it. He'd run to Marlen.

John2.. I don't know if Paladin is the Author. I rather doubt it. I think I saw this along time ago too.

BTDT????

Matt's a good ol boy, I got no beef with him. Matter fact, I got no beef with anyone. I am just a happy clam in the pond. Life is good, WOOD is good, the members are tops, and so are ours. We both have our respective areas to stay in, and that my friend is a friendship made in heaven!

 

---

John Morris
The Patriot Woodworker

Marlen was trying to get a hold of you. That's why I asked you for your phone number. Be happier.. call him. You'll like it.

Larry

Bygones be bygones Larry, nuff said, time to move on sir.


Larry Jenkins said:

Marlen was trying to get a hold of you. That's why I asked you for your phone number. Be happier.. call him. You'll like it.


Larry

 

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John Morris
The Patriot Woodworker

His intentions are not what you think.

Thanks Larry, but I respectfully bow out of this one. Ties are cut, no hard feelings, it just is what it is. So back to Paladins post, way cool, I can definitely relate to the screwdriver, dang can can't open, but the palm of my hand sure opened up when it slipped!


Larry Jenkins said:

His intentions are not what you think.

 

---

John Morris
The Patriot Woodworker

Your choice, John.  I do know that Marlen wanted to help you.  Might be worth reconsidering.  Now, I'll bow out of this.

 

Larry

Wise, very wise.


Larry Jenkins said:

  Now, I'll bow out of this.

 

Larry

 

---

John Morris
The Patriot Woodworker