A friend e-mailed this to me today. I suppose it is a form of woodworking.

Life as a child growing up on a farm in Oklahoma ....   Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough sun of a gun.   That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place.   One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (Ether).   A light bulb went off in my head.   I grabbed the can and set it on the stump.  I thought that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Lets face it, to a 10 yr old mouth-breather like myself, Ether really doesn't "sound" flammable.   So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of black powder for muzzle loader rifles.   At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder.   My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the Ether can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb. black powder and 16 oz Ether should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know?   You know what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the other can, so I got a second can of black powder and dumped it too.  Now we're cookin'.   I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim.  As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from my bow.  In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck... OH SHOOT! He just got home from work.   So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can.  My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in his eyes.   I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom.  Right through the main pile of black powder and into the can.  Oh shoot. When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet.  I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 fricking decibels of sound.  I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I could see.  It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two.   The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE COTTON PICKING DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE.   There was a big sweet gum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I said "was".  That sucker got up and ran off.   So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport, having what I can only assume is, a Vietnam flashback: ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. darn IT CEASE FIRE!!!!!   His hat has blown off and is 30 ft behind him in the driveway.  All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard.   There is a Honda 185 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires.   I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment.  I don't know - I know I said something.  I couldn't hear.  I couldn't hear inside my own head.   I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on.   I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later.  I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea.   I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR. and Dad screaming "Bring him back to life so I can kill him again". Thanks Mom.   One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again.   Mom had been complainingg about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it.  I stepped up to the plate and handled business.   Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or both.   I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery.  It's good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.   Author Unknown

Too funny.

Sort of a "Patrick Mc Manus" flair. If you have never read one of his books, try to some day.

Laughed so hard i thought my wife thought i had lost it. So i read it to her and laughed even harder.

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No greater Loves than God, Family, Friends, country, the sight of flying chips and the smell of saw dust.

I was laughing the whole way. Priceless absolutely priceless.

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John Morris
The Patriot Woodworker
Proud Supporter of Wounded Warrior Project and Homes For Our Troops

I'm pretty sure I did a similar thing as a young boy.

Remind me some day and I will share the story of how we robbed the local train playing cowboys!

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John Moody
Site Administrator


John Moody Woodworks
http://www.johnmoodywoodworks.com

Ok, I was sitting in the back booth of Chick-fil-A on my lap top computer laughing with tears running down my face while the other customers were looking at me with strange looks on their faces.

That was funny!!

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Allen Worsham
Corona, CA

allenworsham@earthlink.net

http://www.awcreationsandwoodcrafts.com

'Graze in every man's field, but always give your own milk' J. Vernon McGee

Russel I have every one of Pat McManus's books. I remember reading his satire in the Field & Stream magazines in the barbershop when I was a younger. He is one of the funniest writers ever and he tells stories that most people can relate to. If you haven't read anything by him then you need to as soon as you can.

OK, your reminded! Let's hear it!

John Moody said:

I'm pretty sure I did a similar thing as a young boy.

Remind me some day and I will share the story of how we robbed the local train playing cowboys!

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John Moody
Site Administrator


John Moody Woodworks
http://www.johnmoodywoodworks.com

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John Morris
The Patriot Woodworker
Proud Supporter of Wounded Warrior Project and Homes For Our Troops

I think we've got some good stories about raising cain. It's called being a boy.  I can remember a time where me and my buddys in grade school went through a period of blowing things up. I'll not go into details just in case a youngster is reading. But you can see where I am heading with a building contractor dad that stored copper tubing in the garage from one of his jobs, and he reloaded his own shotgun shells with a carousel reloader. We were latch key kids, not much supervision, and I'll let you all fill in the rest!

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John Morris
The Patriot Woodworker
Proud Supporter of Wounded Warrior Project and Homes For Our Troops

I grew up in a neighborhood full of kids of all ages. I was in the 10 year old range and there were about 15 of us guys about the same age. As most boys of that time we managed to play just about everything we could. Of course we had enough kids to get into all kinds of sports but at times we would venture off into other activities.

Being that we lived in a large neighborhood we were pretty free to roam from place to place and the parents assumed we were always at someones house or close. So one particular fall weekend we were into playing cowboys, complete with air guns in the saddle holsters on our bikes, um horses. So this day we had already rounded up all the cattle around and decided it was time to be a little more exciting.

Just behind our neighborhood was a railroad track. The train would run through there twice a day and then in the middle of the day was a switch engine that was bringing rail cars to a ceramic tile plant (another story there) and a paper plant. It was always moving at a fairly slow speed so in our minds we would have time to rob the train and ride off before they could form a posse.

So on this day we heard the whistle of the train as it was crossing the main highway a couple of miles away and decide that today was the day to go for it. We started dragging logs and limbs down from the other side of the track and putting them across the track just around a large curve they would come around.

Now I will admit at this time I have no idea what we though we would rob the train of or what we really though would happen when the train had to stop. All I know or remember is at the time it sounded like a lot of fun.

There was a dirt road that ran the length of the tracks behind our neighborhood. We had all of the logs and limbs across the tracks and had our horses ready for the action. We could hear the train coming closer. Heart beats began to beat a little faster in anticipation of what we imagined was about to happen.

Hidden in the trees along the road we could hear the clicking of the wheels on the tracks, the popping and cracking as the train moved closer. The ground was starting to vibrate a little more and a low rumble was growing in intensity. About that time the engine appeared just around the corner and we were ready. The engineer saw the pile of limbs and logs and starts spraying the sand on the track below the large steel wheels and the brakes start to grind. It is about this time that we sorta came to reality that we had no idea what we were going to do when this train came to a complete stop.

As the engine stopped several grown men piled out of the engine as quickly as I think I had ever seen grownups move. At that moment total fear set in and we started scattering as fast as possible. After making it to safety we started taking a head count. We didn't all make it out. It didn't take the captive long to spill his guts as to the names of all involved.

At this point I will only say it was not a good meeting with the train people and my parents. I don't know about your dad, but my dad had a way to bring a belt out of the loops and have it make the most scary sound on the way out. It also came out with the fastest speed you can imagine. Pretty much ended our days as cowboys.

We moved on to being space travelers after that.

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John Moody
Site Administrator


John Moody Woodworks
http://www.johnmoodywoodworks.com

So What was the name of this group of Train robbing bandits?? I hear the FBI still has a lot of cold cases and  is still offering a cash reward for INFO.lolol

As for me I cannot allow myself to divulge any secrets of my criminal youth for at least 15yrs. Then our Little Nathan will be old enough to answer for his own adventures.lol

great story John

thanks for sharing.

John Moody said:

I grew up in a neighborhood full of kids of all ages. I was in the 10 year old range and there were about 15 of us guys about the same age. As most boys of that time we managed to play just about everything we could. Of course we had enough kids to get into all kinds of sports but at times we would venture off into other activities.

Being that we lived in a large neighborhood we were pretty free to roam from place to place and the parents assumed we were always at someones house or close. So one particular fall weekend we were into playing cowboys, complete with air guns in the saddle holsters on our bikes, um horses. So this day we had already rounded up all the cattle around and decided it was time to be a little more exciting.

Just behind our neighborhood was a railroad track. The train would run through there twice a day and then in the middle of the day was a switch engine that was bringing rail cars to a ceramic tile plant (another story there) and a paper plant. It was always moving at a fairly slow speed so in our minds we would have time to rob the train and ride off before they could form a posse.

So on this day we heard the whistle of the train as it was crossing the main highway a couple of miles away and decide that today was the day to go for it. We started dragging logs and limbs down from the other side of the track and putting them across the track just around a large curve they would come around.

Now I will admit at this time I have no idea what we though we would rob the train of or what we really though would happen when the train had to stop. All I know or remember is at the time it sounded like a lot of fun.

There was a dirt road that ran the length of the tracks behind our neighborhood. We had all of the logs and limbs across the tracks and had our horses ready for the action. We could hear the train coming closer. Heart beats began to beat a little faster in anticipation of what we imagined was about to happen.

Hidden in the trees along the road we could hear the clicking of the wheels on the tracks, the popping and cracking as the train moved closer. The ground was starting to vibrate a little more and a low rumble was growing in intensity. About that time the engine appeared just around the corner and we were ready. The engineer saw the pile of limbs and logs and starts spraying the sand on the track below the large steel wheels and the brakes start to grind. It is about this time that we sorta came to reality that we had no idea what we were going to do when this train came to a complete stop.

As the engine stopped several grown men piled out of the engine as quickly as I think I had ever seen grownups move. At that moment total fear set in and we started scattering as fast as possible. After making it to safety we started taking a head count. We didn't all make it out. It didn't take the captive long to spill his guts as to the names of all involved.

At this point I will only say it was not a good meeting with the train people and my parents. I don't know about your dad, but my dad had a way to bring a belt out of the loops and have it make the most scary sound on the way out. It also came out with the fastest speed you can imagine. Pretty much ended our days as cowboys.

We moved on to being space travelers after that.

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John Moody
Site Administrator


John Moody Woodworks
http://www.johnmoodywoodworks.com

Reminds me of the time I used prime cord to bring down an old maple tree. The tree sat right along a state highway. So take some prime cord, rap it around the tree several times. Use an electronic ignitor for a model rocket engine and a car battery for ignition. I only made one mistake!!! I forgot to see if any cars were coming. While to make a long story short.

I'm sure the Deputy Sheriff still remembers the explosion that caused him to put his squad car in the ditch.

Wouldn't you know I had to touch the wires to the battery just as he was driving by! 

The tree landed exactly where I figured it would.  Just to our side of the ditch.

Luck would have it that my Dad knew the DeputyThe Deputy didn't think it was funny, but my Dad managed to calm him down. Afterwards we had a pretty good laugh about it.

I can still hear the Deputy, What the *#%$ do you think your doing?

I answered taking down a tree.

He said what the %&#$ with?

I answered with prime cord.

About that time my Dad took over the conversation with the Deputy.

That was the last tree we took down that way.

 

Larry

OWWM Forum Host

 I think I am prob one of the last gens to have such stories... now its all  video games,  ultra egos on fat kids with no balance, strength, or cardiac output. .  but yea  blew a chimney off my neighbors house with my home made "warhead"  burnt over 100 tons of horse manure (it smoked like scene from a civil war movie and smelled about 50 times worse than I thought it would...  shut down a major highway for about 4 miles... luckily for me it was so smokey  no one could figure out where it was coming from. it burnt for 3 days before my dad figured out it was me and what it was ) my punishment was I had to take the flaming horse poo  to everyone with a garden for as far as I had to and till it in... me a metal shovel,  tractor and a metal cart blazing down the road with what looked like a jet stream.    that stuff is amazingly hard to put out.  

and blew and or caught on fire all kinds of stuff the usual stuff.  

Thanks mate, that made my day..... so funny.....   

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Keep on turning, if not today, do it tomorrow.