kmealy Posted January 17, 2019 Report Share Posted January 17, 2019 Advice from An Old Farmer Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. Keep skunks and bankers at a distance. Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. Words that soak into your ears are whispered… not yelled. Meanness don’t jes’ happen overnight. Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads. Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you. It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge. You cannot unsay a cruel word. Every path has a few puddles. When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. The best sermons are lived, not preached. Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway. Don’t judge folks by their relatives. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. Live a good, honorable life… Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time. Don ‘t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t bothering you none. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’. Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got. The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’. Always drink upstream from the herd. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment. Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in. If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God. Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you. Most times, it just gets down to common sense. Link to comment
FlGatorwood Posted January 18, 2019 Report Share Posted January 18, 2019 Some really good advice. My favorite is to combine skunks and bankers in the same sentence. Link to comment
HARO50 Posted January 18, 2019 Report Share Posted January 18, 2019 21 minutes ago, FlGatorwood said: Some really good advice. My favorite is to combine skunks and bankers in the same sentence. Should add lawyers to that group! John Link to comment
Stick486 Posted January 18, 2019 Report Share Posted January 18, 2019 35 minutes ago, HARO50 said: Should add lawyers to that group! John they have a special group all their own... Link to comment
Gunny Posted January 18, 2019 Report Share Posted January 18, 2019 1 minute ago, Stick486 said: they have a special group all their own... Link to comment
schnewj Posted January 18, 2019 Report Share Posted January 18, 2019 15 hours ago, kmealy said: Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment. This has always been one of my favorites! So true, and most folks won't admit that they are its victims. Link to comment
p_toad Posted January 19, 2019 Report Share Posted January 19, 2019 9 hours ago, schnewj said: most folks won't admit that they are its victims. Recipients. I think the word you want is recipients. Link to comment
Stick486 Posted January 19, 2019 Report Share Posted January 19, 2019 2 hours ago, p_toad said: Recipients. I think the word you want is recipients. pigeons... Link to comment
hatuffej Posted January 19, 2019 Report Share Posted January 19, 2019 Quote: "The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’." I'm still working on that lesson hat Link to comment
Gunny Posted January 19, 2019 Report Share Posted January 19, 2019 No, I admit it. Even loan out the award to people at work sometimes. Link to comment
Stick486 Posted January 19, 2019 Report Share Posted January 19, 2019 On 1/17/2019 at 4:48 PM, kmealy said: Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you. VOE??? Link to comment
HandyDan Posted January 19, 2019 Report Share Posted January 19, 2019 On 1/17/2019 at 6:48 PM, kmealy said: If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’. This is the one that gave me a chuckle. All of them have the same amount of merit. It is good reading. Link to comment
kmealy Posted January 19, 2019 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2019 On 1/17/2019 at 10:35 PM, HARO50 said: Should add lawyers to that group! John There was a lawyer that visited the same farmer's B&B every summer After a while he got quite cozy with the farmer's young daughter. When he arrived one summer, the daughter had a three-month old baby. The lawyer asked the daughter in private if that was his baby. "Yes, it is, I got pregnant by you last summer," said the daughter. The lawyer replied, "You should have called me, I would have done the honorable thing and married you." "Well, we discussed it," the daughter said, "but daddy said he'd rather have a b@stard in the family than a lawyer." Link to comment
HARO50 Posted January 19, 2019 Report Share Posted January 19, 2019 Did you hear about the two fatalities found on the side of the highway.... a lawyer and a skunk? There were skid marks leading up to the skunk! John Link to comment
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