Good Clean Fun

[HARO50 7,138]

Don't know about the rest of you, but I for one miss the "Useless conversation" thread, so I thought I'd try a different approach. Just keep it clean, guys, and maybe John will let it ride.

The other John

[HARO50 7,138]

 

[HARO50 7,138]

 

[HARO50 7,138]

[Gene Howe 20,152]

Thanks John. 

[HandyDan 35,732]

[HandyDan 35,732]

[HandyDan 35,732]

[Gene Howe 20,152]

[HARO50 7,138]

John

[HARO50 7,138]

5 hours ago, HandyDan said:

Seeing this reminded me.... apparently even horses like a good joke. (My grandson and Tommo)

John

[HandyDan 35,732]

[HandyDan 35,732]

[HandyDan 35,732]

[HandyDan 35,732]

[Grandpadave52 20,552]

In a small mid-western town were two well known and very successfully brothers.

 

The had accumulated vast wealth however at the expense of others. In fact, these two brothers, cheated people in business transactions, did not stick to their word, lied to get a deal, and often pitted clients and customers against each other. They were known secretly for their excessive drinking, swearing and even cheating on their wives.

 

Unexpectedly, one of the brothers passed away. While making funeral arrangements, the surviving brother, told the Pastor of the church they attended he would donate $100,000 to the church if the Pastor would tell those in attendance at the funeral what a saint his brother had been.

 

The Pastor smiled slightly, accepted the check for $100,00, then gave the check to the church treasurer.

 

The day of the funeral, the surviving brother and family, the Mayor, members of the city and county council, aldermen, the most affluent doctors, lawyers and businessmen along with the local media were in attendance.

 

The Pastor started with a prayer, then began his message; "family members, business associates, and friends...the man you see laying before you was the biggest crook, cheat, thief, and dishonest person this town has ever known, but compared to his brother, he was a saint."   

Edited July 27, 2018 by Grandpadave52

[lew 10,121]

 

The Chaplin at my Mom's church told that one a few months ago!

[Gene Howe 20,152]

[Gene Howe 20,152]

I picked up a hitchhiker last night.



He seemed surprised that I'd pick up a stranger and asked, "Thanks, but why would you pick me up? How do you know I'm not a serial killer?"



I told him the chances of two serial killers being in one car would be astronomical.

[Gene Howe 20,152]

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

Broken pencils are pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of Communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro - what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.