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Stick486

Moaners, Groaners and other dribble... V.2

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Mick, from Dublin, appeared on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 euros.
"You've done very well so far," said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, "but for a million euros you've only got one life-line left, phone a friend.
 Everything is riding on this question. Will you go for it?"
"Sure," said Mick. "I'll have a go!"

"Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?
a) Sparrow
B) Thrush
c) Magpie
d) Cuckoo

"I haven't got a clue." said Mick,
''So I'll use my last lifeline and phone my friend Paddy back home in Dublin... "
Mick called up his mate, and told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him.

"Mick!" cried Paddy.
"Dat's simple it's a cuckoo."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
Mick hung up the phone and told Chris,   "I'll go with cuckoo as my answer."
"Is that your final answer?" asked Chris.
"Dat it is."
There was a long, long pause and then the presenter screamed,  "Cuckoo is the correct answer! Mick, you've won 1 million euros!"

The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink.
"Tell me, Paddy? How in Heaven's name did you know it was da Cuckoo that doesn't build its own nest?"
“Because he lives in a clock!"

 

 

Edited by Stick486 (see edit history)

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As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the Nova Scotia back country.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn’t stop for directions.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.

I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man. And as I played “Amazing Grace”, the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together.

When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head was hung low, my heart was full. As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen anything like that before, and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

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18 hours ago, Stick486 said:

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SNORK!!!  This is a best idea EVER!!! Even beats playing "Pop Goes the Weasel" as the final music at the funeral!!

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15 hours ago, Gene Howe said:

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs.

I read that one to the LOML. Definitely a "SNORK" moment for her! :lol: Thanks, Gene.

John

 

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@HARO50...made me think of this one...a little long but worth the watch.

 

 

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