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Stick486

Useless conversation and other drivel...

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Truths for Mature Humans

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hades are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...(again).
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also importa
nt..................

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1 hour ago, Stick486 said:

Truths for Mature Humans

:D:lol::D

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To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
The batteries were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
Acupuncture: a jab well done.*

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6 hours ago, Stick486 said:

http://www.routerforums.com/attachments/lobby/66682d1384743479-joke-day-image.jpg

SNORK!

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Let me get this straight. One man with fishing pole and one dog with no fishing pole. At the end of the contest man 0 dog 0.

Dog wins, he had no fishing pole.

 

Preston

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when she fishes all other fishing has to stop...

man severely handicapped...

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3 hours ago, Stick486 said:

when she fishes all other fishing has to stop...

man severely handicapped...

So if you kept fishing you might get a dog?  Would be a better fight than any trout could be. 

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2 hours ago, HandyDan said:

So if you kept fishing you might get a dog?  Would be a better fight than any trout could be. 

tried that...

really rough on the equipment...

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Question of the day:

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

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(the other) Question of the day:

Just when does this "Old enough to know better" kick in?

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2 hours ago, Stick486 said:

(the other) Question of the day:

Just when does this "Old enough to know better" kick in?

When you finally learn to hang up when asked to press one for English.

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15 hours ago, Stick486 said:

when she fishes all other fishing has to stop...

man severely handicapped...

 

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Excuses, excuses. Get creative or give it up!

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I believe Schnooge aka @schnewj, @HandyDan,  @Nickp and @Dadio (Herb) not to a few others (okay John) are a bad influence om me...

I just coffeed out and turned down apple turn overs...

 

 

Edited by Stick486

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22 minutes ago, Stick486 said:

I believe Schnooge aka @schnewj, @HandyDan,  @Nickp and @Dadio (Herb) not to a few others (okay John) are a bad influence om me...

I just coffeed out and turned down apple turn overs...

 

 

Need to call 911? This sounds serious...

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